The Devil You Say

I like Halloween. I always have. One year Ma made me a Bigfoot costume out of some furry material. OK, it was supposed to be a gorilla, (The mask was a gorilla) but she made these big feet with toes and everything that fit over my shoes.

One year I was Darth Vader and she made a black cloak to go over my Vader mask and a black shirt and top.

I stopped dressing up while in high school, because it just wasn't "cool", but I've been a lot of things over the years, and always made my own costume.

I spent many a year as a pirate long before Johnny Depp did, and was Prince Charming at least once.

I went to a party with a girl up in DC one year. I hadn't brought a costume, but I was wearing a black button down shirt and jeans. I folded a piece of paper and put it in my collar... Voila! Instant priest. I then drank, danced, smoked cigarettes and kissed at least two girls besides the one I was with.

I've been a demon quite a few times as well, red faced and evil in my black leather biker jacket and horns sprouting from my forehead.

I dressed as Amish from Braveheart one year, complete with shaggy blond wig, half blue face, home made kilt and the prerequisite nothing underneath. I lived in a neighborhood full of college girls and I went trick or treating with an empty 6pack carton. I'd drink the beer as I went along so the carton never got full. I also showed many a young lady my bare fuzzy arse that year.

Two years ago I was the big bad wolf. I made that mask just so I could be with a girl... Imagine that.

My first year out of high school I dressed up for Halloween at work. I was a checker/bagger at the local A&P. Ma made me a hood. It was red and had white horns on the side of it. She also made me a red cape. I had a black shirt and black pants and donned a red tie and gold tie tack. We were required to wear ties in those days. I painted my face red, and used eyeliner my older sister had left in the bathroom to add a pencil thin mustache and V shaped goatee. I snagged a name tag at work and with the trusty click click label maker I was... "Lucifer". Yes ma'am.

There was a college girl who worked in the office. I couldn't tell you her name if I had to these days. She and a friend were going to Greenville (where I later went to college) to the block party. At said block party they would block off 5th street (Where all the bars were) and let the students run wild (which they did).

At first I declined... Then her friend showed up. Wow. Her name was Pam. That I remember. short babydoll cut blond hair, hazel eyes and pouty lips. So, after our shift we climbed in her car and made the hour trek into the bowels of Hell.

You shoulda seen it. Everyone was in costume and everyone was drunk and everyone was having fun... Everyone but the cops. There were kegs on the corners. There were people hanging from the street lamps. You basically had to bulldoze your way through the crowd.

That was the last year of the block parties for a while, because the cops got into it with the kids. One guy stole a cop's gun and they stuffed him in a trash can. That was the beginning of the end.

The riot police started clearing the crowd. Whatshername had already gone back to the car. Pam and I were caught in the rush.

Thank God I had been a lineman on the football team. I put Pam behind me, turned to face the crowd and had her pull me along as I deflected the stampede away from her. She pulled me into an alley (the one by Sportspad for those who know) and the crowd kept going by.

I took off my hood and she put it in her purse. She pulled out some tissue and wiped the makeup off my face. Then she kissed me. So sweet... So gentle... Violence and mayhem ensued not three feet from where we stood and we touched and tasted and caressed.

She leaned against the brick wall and pulled me in close to her, as we fumbled at each others clothes.

"FREEZE!"

Did I ever. GPD in full riot gear with a Maglight in one hand and the other on a Beretta 9mm. "Sir step over here... Ma'am are you OK?"

What the Hell... "I SAID, SIR step over HERE!"

I did and another cop materialized and started to handcuff me.

"Ma'am, are you OK... Did he hurt you?"

"No... No, he saved me."

"Uncuff him"

Whew. As quickly as they were there, they were gone... And so was the moment.

I took Pam's hand and led her back to the car. I sat in the back seat by myself and dozed on the way home while the girls sat up front and talked.

I have no idea what was said... I never saw Pam again and Whatshername never brought it up. A few months later I went to work at Food Lion.

Have A Happy Halloween.